Akatsuki Goes to Six Flags
by AkiraDawn
Summary: Well Akatsuki has decided to go to Six Flags theme Park. This sould definitely be an adventure of a lifetime. Rated for Language R&R Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1 Off to Six Flags

Akatsuki Goes to Six Flags

Hey everyone! As promised, here is Akatsuki Goes to Six Flags. If anyone doesn't know what Six Flags is, it's a theme park with roller coasters, other thrill rides and some of them have water parks. In this case, Akatsuki is going to Six Flags with the theme park/free water park. Thanx Katie for the theme park idea and IloveInuyasha44 thanx for re-emphasizing it! Yay! Enjoy! AkiraDawn

I don't' own Naruto or any of it's characters…oh I don't own Six Flags either…

Some background…

Ever since Zetsu had overcome his fear of heights, Akatsuki has had a blast checking out various theme parks and what each one has to offer. For this year's theme park trip, they are going to Six Flags with the free water park included. Hidan and Kakuzu had never been on an amusement park trip…especially with 5 other dysfunctional personalities…

"Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! I can't WAIT for our six flags trip! I totally have the tickets, I put gas in the van, WE'RE SO READY TO LEAVE TOMORROW!" Zetsu was very enthusiastic about the trip, especially since Kisame had gotten him to ride the turbo twister last year at the last theme park they went to.

"Hey, remember that one time that girl wasn't tall enough to ride that coaster, but Itachi said 'you're tall enough to ride me'….she hit him in the face, yeah. Oh, now that was funny, yeah." Deidara said.

"That was not funny! That really hurt when she did that!" Itachi yelled form the bedroom. "Deidara! Why don't' you shut up and come back here and help me decide what I'm going to wear tomorrow!" he demanded.

""Kakuzu, you don't' know what the hell you're talking about. A religious based theme park would kick major ass, really." Hidan and Kakuzu were arguing again.

"Oh, what rides would you have there, the Meditation Station and the Worship-O-Whirl?" Kakuzu said dryly.

"You know what Kakuzu, go to hell! Seriously!" Hidan yelled at him. Kakuzu rolled his eyes. "Hey, seriously I'm excited about this I've never been on a roller coaster before." Hidan told Sasori.

"You and I are going to get those huge ass snow cones like we did last year!" Kisame said to Zetsu. It was obvious that the 7 of them were prepared for the trip to Six Flags

24 hours and 137 miles later

"Oh shit, we're going to have to park at least a half mile away form the entrance." Itachi whined. "Do you know how much I hate parking like a million miles away from the entrance?" Itachi was ignored.

"Okay, it's fucking $10.00 to park here, Deidara get the money ready we're approaching the kiosk where we pay." Sasori said. Deidara panicked slightly.

"Danna, can I give it to you in quarters, yeah?" Sasori sighed.

"Deidara hurry up and count out the money!" It was too late because Sasori had pulled up to the kiosk with a string of cars behind him and Deidara was still dropping money everywhere. "Just a moment." Sasori said to the collector who was tapping his fingers waiting for their parking fee. Deidara kept looking for quarters.

"Here! Here's 2 five's! Let's get parked!" Itachi hissed. Sasori paid and drove away.

"Oh, I almost had it too, yeah." Deidara insisted.

"Okay, the traffic cop keeps directing us farther and farther away from the entrance." Zetsu said.

"Looks like we're going to be parking in the teal section." Sasori said looking at the different colored flags indicating parking sections.

"That's not teal, it's blue-green!" Kisame insisted.

"It's the same thing!" Sasori argued.

"No it's not! Blue green is ocean-like! Teal is darker!" Kisame said.

"Kisame, who gives a fuck let's just park. Look there's a space open in the Bugs Bunny row." Sasori said. They had finally gotten parked and poured out of the van. Itachi and Deidara had to huge totes with them.

"You two are really taking all that shit with you?" Kakuzu asked.

"Of course we are! We need these things!" Itachi said. Although, Hidan and Sasori couldn't figure out why Itachi and Deidara needed 3 changes of clothes, 2 bottles of sun block, 4 beach towels, a hairdryer or 4 credit cards…however they could understand why they packed a notepad and a pen ( this was an excellent phone number opportunity).

Nonetheless, they made their way to the front gates presented their tickets and were inside Six Flags. Let the fun begin….


	2. Chapter 2 Kingda Ka

Hey everybody! I'm going out of town again Fri-Sun so this will probably be the only update until I return on Sunday. So, enjoy until then!

"I can't believe we're here! We're going to need some sort of map of the park, that way we get around easier." Kisame said. Fortunately, right in front of them was a stand with a sign reading: Maps of the Park. Kakuzu hurried and got one. The giant cartoon characters walking around were a little freaky but for the time being, it was decided to ignore them.

"Oh my god! What are we going to ride first?" Zetsu wanted to know.

"Only the tallest, fastest, most death defying coaster ever…Kingda Ka!" And Kisame was right, this coaster supposedly broke all kinds of records. And so they were off, it was expected that there would be long lines to wait for each ride, but that was okay with everyone.

"Hey, Kisame I don't know about you but I feel right at home here, this is one of the only places that we can go that you and I don't get stared at for having blue skin or plant parts!" Zetsu said.

"I hear ya, man! This is our kind of place." Zetsu said. Hidan noticed that Kakuzu had the map of the part completely unfolded and it was so large that he couldn't see where he was going.

"Really, Kakuzu put that thing away we know where we're going; you're going to run in to everyone." Hidan told him. Kakuzu had already run in to three people including 'Yosemite Sam' (well, someone dressed up as Yosemite Sam).

"Hidan you're always trying to tell me what to do! I know what I'm doing here." Kakuzu said, except he turned around too quickly and slapped right into a pole. Needless to say, he put the map away.

"Okay guys, here's where the line starts for Kingda Ka. Itachi, you and Deidara are seriously not hauling those bags around all day are you?" Sasori wondered.

"First Sasori, it's not just a bag, this is a Prada men's tote…and it's a summer tote, okay. Second, you can leave this with park personnel while you're on these coasters." Itachi rolled his eyes at Sasori.

"I can't believe I didn't think of that." Sasori said sarcastically. It was at this moment that a bee landed on Deidara's shoulder. Had he not worn the new Ralph Lauren fragrance that he and Itachi _insisted_ on wearing….it may have been a relatively uneventful wait to get on Kingda Ka. However, Deidara spotted the bee on his shoulder.

"Oh god! There's a bee on me, yeah! You know how allergic I am to bees, yeah!" And Deidara began to flair…Nautica tote bag and all. "A bee! Oh god, yeah! Get it away, get it away, yeah!" Deidara was in panic mode, which sent some of the people around him into panic mode as well. So through all the screaming and flailing, Deidara managed to slap Hidan in the face and hit whoever was standing behind him.

"Deidara! Would you relax! The fucking bee is gone" Itachi hissed at him. Deidara quit panicking.

"Oh…okay, yeah." And there was peace once more.

"Okay, the way I see it the seats are 4 across, we need to divide up."

"Me, Kisame, Kakuzu, Hidan." Zetsu said. "That leaves Sasori, Itachi, Deidara and someone else if there is someone riding alone, if not than it's you three." Now that the seating assignment was settled, the noticed they weren't far off from the track entrance.

16 minutes and 1 argument over art styles later…

"Oh my god…it's our turn." Zetsu said as they climbed into their designated seats. Itachi and Deidara handed over their bags. To the Kingda Ka personnel and they started rolling down the tracks. No one was riding alone, so Itachi, Deidara and Sasori were alone in their section. The coaster was beginning to climb the first hill.

"Wow, this is pretty vertical, yeah." Deidara said. "Oh my god…Itachi we forgot to put our hair back, yeah." Deidara eyed Itachi with a fearful look.

Oh…shit…" Itachi said. But, it was too late….the coaster had stopped at the very top of the giant hill in the sky and was getting ready for the dive downward. The next thing to be heard…were screams.

"AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHH, AAAAGGGGGHHHH, AAAAAAAAA!"

"EEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!"

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!"

And of course there were the silent screams that wouldn't come out do to sheer fear, excitement. Once the coaster had reached the bottom of the hill it did some twisty turny stuff until it straightened out. 1 minute 47 seconds later the ride was over. Sasori looked at Itachi and Deidara.

"Oh…my…god…" he said.

" Uh huh…" they said together.

"Oh yeah, the ride was amazing….but that's not what I'm commenting on. Now, I don't mean to freak you two out…but…your hair is so tangled up together that it's going to take a weed wacker to straighten that out. I mean, it's a nest of black and blonde." The screams were even louder than what was heard on Kingda Ka. This was definitely a problem…

Kisame picked up Itachi and Deidara's totes because they were too preoccupied with the fact that they were pretty much connected. This would have to be resolved before they went anywhere else…


	3. Chapter 3 Detangled

Hey everyone! This is a really hectic week for me and I don't know how much I'll be able to update, but hang with me I'll post as quickly as I can get thing written!

"Oh…my…god…that is one messy nest of black and blonde." Sasori said as he and Zetsu had shoved a screaming Deidara and Itachi down onto a picnic table.

"Oh god, get us untangled! Fix it! Fiiiiiiiiiix it!" Itachi yelled.

"Oh my god! Oh my god! We're stuck, yeah. We're stuck. We're stuuuuck, yeah!" Deidara was wailing.

"Both of you shut the hell up! Now hold still!" Kisame said holing Itachi's head down to the table. Hidan grabbed Deidara by the neck and restrained him. Kakuzu and Zetsu assessed the situation.

"Okay, first we have to untangle your hait from the necklaces that you both INSISTED on wearing today." Zetsu said grabbing a hunk of black, Kakuzu grabbed a hunk of blonde.

"Be careful, yeah!" Deidara yelled feeling Kakuzu pull too hard. After the necklaces were removed, Kakuzu made the announcement…

"Deidara, we have to take the pony tail down for a moment, black is wound around the base." Deidara screamed but Sasori covered his mouth to shut him up. Kakuzu pulled it down. "God, that is a lot of blonde." Kakuzu said cutting the black elastic band out. Fortunately, they had now been loosened partially.

"Now, for this mess in the middle." Zetsu said.

"The detangler! Get the detangler! It's in my bag!" Itachi said frantically.

"Detangler, yeah!" Deidara repeated. Kisame dug through Itachi's bag and found it. He sprayed at least 429 spritz's into the mess. "Hmmm….that's a nice scent." Kisame said.

"Paul Mitchell hair care is like that, yeah." Deidara told him.

"Okay, get the comb! The comb!" Itachi was still panicking.

"The comb, yeah." Deidara chimed in. And so Sasori started working on the hunk, listening to Deidara and Itachi whine because it pulled.

"Oh my god! Be careful! I don't want split ends when I get untangled!" Itachi yelled.

21 minutes later

"There….untangled. Seriously, you two carry too much useless shit in those bags. I mean a hairdryer? 2 in 1 shampoo and conditioner? The notepad? Three changes of clothes between the two of you? Sun block? Oh, Tanning enhancer? What the hell? How do you block the sun and invite it at the same time? Okay, and here's what totally freaks me out…the note I found in your bag which reads: 'Deidara- You've got what it takes and you know how to use it, can't wait to do it again – Jocelyn'."

"That's still in there, yeah?" Deidara said snatching up the note from Hidan.

"Oh! I'm not done! Itachi, you have three kunai, a piece of rope, a picture of Sasuke with 'I'm prettier than you' written in the corner and I found a note in your bag that reads: 'Oh shit…I had no idea that position was even possible, anyway god you're hot – Stefania." Hidan waited for an answer. Itachi looked at Deidara.

"Were those girls friends?" he asked.

"Itachi! Yes, they were friends and they were really nice too, yeah!" Deidara always got pissed when Itachi didn't remember details about the women that ended up in Itachi's bed.

"Okay so now that you're both detangled, are you ready to go hit some more rides?" Sasori wondered. Itachi and Deidara looked at one another.

"Danna….we don't want to get tangled again…yeah." Deidara bit his lower lip. He knew Sasori wouldn't like where this was going. However, Itachi grabbed Deidara's shoulders.

"Deidara….there's a place for us…the water park. 15 acres of wet, tangle free, excitement." Deidara's face lit up.

"Oh! Now, Danna don't you feel bad for making fun of my Nautica swim trunks and the shirt that matches, yeah?" Deidara said delighted.

"Fine! You two go to the water park, but when we leave tonight I expect both of you to shut up about being wet and cold!" Sasori said, and Deidara and Itachi took off for the water park, while Hidan, Kakuzu, Zetsu, Sasori, and Kisame unfolded the giant map again.

"I can't believe they think we carry too much stuff, I mean come on. Hidan didn't even look in my other compartment on my bag!" Itachi said.

"Oh! Oh, Itachi! I brought gum, do you want some, yeah?" Deidara said, blue eye fluttering. Itachi glared.

"Go to hell…"

Well, now they had parted ways…this could get interesting…Akatsuki dispersed among the two sections of Six Flags…


	4. Chapter 4 Separate Ways

"Come on hurry up! We lost valuable time with the dumbasses and their hair." Kisame said. And so, Kisame, Zetsu, Hidan, Kakuzu, and Sasori took off for the next coaster on the map. It was equally topsy turvy and it was obvious Hidan and Kakuzu would be screaming bloody murder.

"Oh my god! That bastard is wearing a cape! He's trying to be like us only lame! We wear robes! Let me at him!" Zetsu yelled. He had spotted Batman and he took off to tackle him. Everyone stood back and watched as Zetsu brutally attacked Batman. It wasn't pretty.

Itachi and Deidara had arrived at the water park and had just opened up a locker to put their bags of useless crap. Deidara spotted a huge water slide with a pool at the bottom and insisted on dragging Itachi to the top. Itachi wouldn't have minded at all, in fact he wanted to go to the top…it was what Deidara insisted on doing while they were waiting in the line.

"I never had a dream come true, till the day that I found, you. Even though I pretend that I've moved on you'll always be my…baaa…I…ta….chi…ye…ah….choke…don't…cho….ooke….me…..yeah." Deidara could barely breathe and Itachi's sharingan was burning like a raging fire.

"Deidara, I swear to god, if you don't stop singing pop radio hits to me I will strangle you right here and now, I don't care who sees! So shut the fuck up!" Itachi hissed at him and let go of his neck.

"OH MY GOD! THIS RIDE IS THE SHIT!" Kakuzu screamed as the others were being tossed around in the air. Hidan was screaming like crazy and practically squeezing the life out of Kakuzu.

"Zeeeeeeetsuuuuuuuu!" Sasori wailed as he crashed into him. Kisame was riding with a perfect stranger and they were both screaming just as wildly. 47 seconds later they came to their senses and filed away from that ride.

"We have to send you down the slide in 4's." the slide moderator told Itachi and Deidara. Itachi and Deidara looked behind them.

"Hey, who are you girls riding?" Itachi asked.

"Itachi!" Deidara slapped him.

"Shit! That's not what I meant! Are you two alone?" he quickly fixed it.

"No! Can we come with you guys?" One of them asked.

"Of course, yeah." Deidara insisted. This would be an interesting combination…Itachi, Deidara, a dark dark Brunette (who's name was Loraine) and a blonde (her name was Madison). The next thing that happened was the four of them started down the slide but Deidara ended up with a lap full of brunette and Itachi ended up with a lap full of blonde (but it wasn't Deidara). We'll leave it at that for now…

"You know what. I hope we don't go back to a soaking wet van tonight. Because knowing Itachi and Deidara, they'll drag two girls back to the van, the seats will be wet from the fact that they've been in the water all day and the worst part is that they'll probably screw with the radio presets!" Sasori said.

"Seriously, they won't get laid, neither one of them, they didn't bring any condoms." Hidan said.

"You obviously don't know about the ones in the console of the van." Kisame said. They were currently in line for the next ride, which pretty much scrambled you around and twisted in at least 100 directions. It looked great since it was one of those rides that had warnings like 'don't ride this if you have motion sickness' before you got on it.

"You know, a little kid came up to me and wanted a hug, I think he mistook me for one of the characters here. It makes me feel…warm and fuzzy." Kisame said. It wasn't much longer until they were scrambling around on the scrambly ride. However, something went horribly wrong because after the 5 twist, Zetsu went flying out of his seat (it seemed he got the top part of his plant enclosure caught on something). Everyone agreed that they would go find him after the ride was over, after all they were having way too much fun.

"So, is it like a club?" Loraine, the brunette asked. The four of them were now floating down the 'lazy river' ride, which basically was exactly like it sounded.

"No, no Akatsuki is an evil organization, yeah." Deidara told her, he had his hands buried in her hair and was separating it to braid it.

"Oh, like NATO?" Madison, the blonde said.

"Sure…NATO." Itachi said even though he wasn't certain what NATO was.

"You know, we think you two were really hot, I mean my god do you guys like work out everyday?" Madison asked.

"Not lately, yeah." Deidara said. No one noticed that they were getting ready to go over a 'waterfall' the raft hit it and the rapids quickly dumped them all into the water. They all resurfaced with the raft wedged between two 'rocks' (they were synthetic hard plastic things made to look like rocks).

"Oh geez, I think I lost the top to my swimsuit." Madison said. Let's stop there…

"Zetsu! Are you okay man! Dude you went flying! That rocked!" Sasori said.

"Yeah, I'm fine, it actually added to the ride and I landed on top of Sylvester the Cat." Zetsu said.

"Hey! Seriously, you know what we should do? Let's go play some games and try to win stuff!" Hidan said. Everyone thought that was an excellent idea. We'll check back in later. For now I'll leave you with the image of Itachi diving into the water to look for the top of a two piece swimsuit…


	5. Chapter 5 Giant Octopus

"Look! Check it out! If we throw a dart at one of those balloons maybe we can win a huge ass animal!" Kakuzu said.

"Hey, you know what would be funny? If we did win a huge ass animal and we made Itachi hold it all the way home." Kisame said.

"You know that would be funny. Let's try to go play that balloon game and win that giant octopus!" Sasori said.

"Seriously, I'm not very good at hitting things. I mean you saw me play horseshoes when we went camping, so I think Zetsu should throw." Hidan said.

"Look, according to the price list, we can get 10 darts for 5 dollars….let's get 20 darts!" Sasori said. And so they purchased 20 darts. Hidan was the cheerleader since he couldn't throw worth crap. Now, they should have planned an organized system…but instead, Zetsu, Sasori Kisame, and Kakuzu took five darts a piece and began to shower the board, sending the man that was running the game screaming in the opposite direction. After all he didn't want to die a dart death. Kisame screamed.

"Zetsu! You popped a balloon! We win the octopus! You didn't even have to get out any kunai!" And the five of them started jumping up and down in a football style huddle. The attendant working the game was pale from the dart shower that had just taken place. He was willing to give them the giant purple smiling octopus just to get them to go away. He quickly shoved the huge octopus at Zetsu.

"Oh my god! Would you look at this thing! It's so huge! It's awesome!" Zetsu said holding up the giant octopus. Back at the water park…

"Hey, do you guys want to go get something to eat?" Loraine the brunette asked now having a braid creeping down her back.

"We know a great place here in the water park." Madison the blonde added.

"Okay, let's do that." Itachi said. Deidara agreed. All four of them wrapped up in towels, got something to eat and sat underneath an umbrella for lunch.

"You know, you two are really cool. If we weren't at a family park we'd totally want to sleep with you." Loraine said.

"Oh, well you should come to our apartment sometime, yeah. We're trashed every Friday, yeah." Deidara told them both.

"Sweet! We'll get your phone number before you leave today." Madison, the blonde said.

"Hey, after lunch do you two want to come work on your tan with us?" Itachi asked.

"Of course we do!" Loraine the brunette exclaimed.

"We brought all the sun skin care products, yeah." Deidara told her.

"You guys totally have even tans, how did you do that?" Madison asked.

"We have a pool at our apartment and I have dark hair so I'm naturally…you know…sexy." Itachi said. And so, soon lunch was finished and the four of them left. Itachi and Deidara would need to stop by their lockers first to get the bags full of crap before going to claim a tanning spot. Now we go back to the park…

"I can't believe we are eating lunch at Six Flags with an octopus…that kicks ass!" Kisame said.

"I know! Hey, what do you think Itachi and Deidar are doing at this point? Do you realize how peaceful things have been without them…" Zetsu paused and everyone looked at each other. "No, no no! You know we can't leave them here at the end of the day!" Zetsu said.

"You're right." Sasori said. It was at that moment that the pink RAZR starting ringing. Sasori had just gotten a new Sean Paul 'Temperature' ring tone. "Hello….oh! Hi 'the leader'. Yeah, Six Flags kicks ass. Listen to this we won a giant octopus! Uh huh…uh huh…okay…uh huh…Oh…Tobi? Here. Before we leave? Okay. At the entrance to the park, giant sign? Okay, thanks 'the leader'." Sasori hung up.

"Alright, apparently 'the leader' has approved us another new member. His name is Tobi, he has a swirly face and we're supposed to pick him up here before we leave. He will have a giant sign that says 'Akatsuki' and he'll be waiting at the entrance to the park with his bags.

"Interesting. Zetsu, looks like you don't get the big bedroom by yourself anymore." Kisame said. And so they finished up lunch and were ready to play some more games before they got back on the massive coasters. I wonder how Tobi would take to his soon to be new group of friends…


	6. Chapter 6 The Show and The Sunblock

"This is only like the most perfect place to tan ever, yeah!" A very over zealous Deidara announced spreading out his Corona beach towel alongside the tide pool thing. It was basically a huge pool in the shape of a leaf but for whatever reason Six Flags called it 'The Tide Pool'.

"Yeah, this is really nice." Itachi said spreading out the Nautica beach towel. The girls followed right beside them.

"Hey will you put this tan accelerator on my back?" Madison, the blonde asked Itachi. Before he could answer, Madison had untied the top of her bathing suit and was laying face down on the towel with her bare back exposed. Itachi swallowed hard…this was the best Six Flags trip ever.

"So, do your friends tan with you?" Loraine, the brunette asked Deidara.

"No, they aren't in to sun and stuff, yeah." He answered her.

"That's too bad. Hey, will you put this sun block on my chest. I so don't want to get too much sun, there, I mean the skin is so sensitive." Loraine said to Deidara shoving SPF 40 into his hand. Deidara blinked at least 50 times. She wanted him to put sun block on her…where?

"So you want me to put it…like…on your collar bone and…there around your neck…yeah." Deidara was still trying to deal with the fact that his hands would practically be in the top of her swimsuit in order to do what she asked.

"Yeah, and down here….wait I'll pull my top down a little more, it'll be easier to reach down the middle." Loraine said. Deidara hadn't been in a situation like this for at least 6 days…

"Okay guys, seriously we have the giant octopus what are we going to ride next?" Hidan asked.

"Let's go check out one of the shows. The animal safari thing begins in 20 minutes." Zetsu said. The five of them walked towards the area where the show was happening. Naturally, Kisame and Kakuzu insisted on sitting in the front row so they haphazardly stepped over everyone in the front and Zetsu ended up hitting people in the head with the giant octopus. They all got seated and waited for the show to begin. Kisame loved all the exotic animals, it made him feel all special inside. They didn't have to wait long because wild birds starting flying all over the place and the show had begun. It was a partially educational show because they were learning about wild cat species while watching them walk around on the stage before them. Now, the next portion of the show required a volunteer from the audience….so of course Kisame HAD to be the one picked. He flailed around like a maniac and continuously screamed 'pick me'. He got picked and Sasori truly thought Kisame was going to cry from excitement. It was like one of the happiest days of his life. He got to go onto the stage and feed a seal…Deidara and Itachi were getting a completely different kind of educational experience…

"You know, we could go make out behind that waterfall thing over there." Madison, the blonde said to Itachi.

"Okay." He said quickly and so they were off. Deidara was still lying beside Loraine.

"What's your favorite food, yeah" He asked her quite sincerely.

"Probably club sandwiches." She answered. Deidara was one of those guys who had to know EVERYTHING about a girl before he made out with her…so it was only a matter of time before the question and answer session was over. He would continue this for at least another 20 minutes.

"You know, this Tobi fellow. I hope 'the leader' screens our members a little better." Sasori said to Zetsu. "Ever since he let Deidara in, Akatsuki has really gone down hill."

"Yeah, but you know I think he let Deidara in to give Itachi a little competition. I mean, Itachi used to get all the attention, now at least it's diverted somewhat." Zetsu said.

"True.' Sasori agreed watching Kisame feed another seal in a moment of bliss.

Sorry, this chapter was so short. I'll do better next time.


	7. Chapter 7 Meet Tobi

"It's getting late Itachi and Deidara are supposed to meet us here then we'll tell them about the new guy then go find him." Sasori said. Itachi and Deidara appeared nearly on cue. Kisame looked them both up and down.

"You two have been with girls…" he said.

"Say's who, yeah?" Deidra asked.

"It's obvious, Itachi your jeans are unzipped and Deidara, you smell like Plumeria body lotion from Bath and Body Works." Both Itachi and Deidara gasped.

"Well, I did have her all over me, yeah. I would indeed smell flowery fresh, yeah." Deidara said. Itachi glared at Kisame.

"Seriously, you're good." Hidan said to Kisame.

"Thanks, it's a gift. I'll teach you what to look for sometime." Kisame told him.

"Okay, listen up. 'The leader' has admitted a new member, his name is Tobi, we're supposed to pick him up at the front gates. And how did you two manage to have sex in a THEME PARK?" Sasori said/demanded.

"Now, Danna…when you say _sex_ are we talking about inter…"

"Deidara! Just…okay now I know what YOU did and I'm not even going there with Itachi. Now come on, we have to go meet the new guy." Sasori had once again lost his patience with Deidara. For those of you keeping score, that was the 1,538th time since he and Deidara had met that Sasori had lost his patience with him. So the reunited Akatsuki began to make their way to the front gates of Six Flags.

"So, what's this guy look like?" Itachi had to know what he was going up against.

"Don't worry Itachi, really, the guy supposedly has like a swirly face or something." Hidan said reassuring Itachi that he would still be the sexy one.

"Okay, well let's find him." Itachi said. And so they were off to locate this Tobi fellow. They made their way towards the front gates…and there he was in all his swirly glory.

"Oh shit…he spelled Akatsuki wrong on the sign." Zetsu said looking at the sign that read: AKATSUKEE in capital letters.

"God, he's going to be another Deidara…except he's not pretty like Deidara…just dumb." Sasori said. They all walked up to the swirly faced new member.

"Hey, Tobi? I'm Kisame and this is Akatsuki. This is Zetsu, Hidan, Kakuzu, Sasori, Itachi and Deidara.

"Hi guys! I'm Tobi. Oh my god! 'The Leader' told me all about Deidara and how we could travel around together sometimes! Oh god! I can't wait! Deidara's a total man babe!" There was a long awkward pause. "Oh….uh…your leader said that, he said I would totally get overshadowed by him." Tobi added.

"Well, Tobi I am hot, but you can ask danna, we have so much fun on missions, yeah." Deidara anxiously greeted Tobi, Sasori rolled his eyes. He never had fun on mission with Deidara because Deidara was a total pain in the ass.

"Hey, Tobi. I'm Itachi and there's a rule in our apartment…buy your own condoms." Now that Itachi had settled that, Zetsu suggested they all conclude the day by getting to know Tobi over dinner before they left the park…

Okay, this was another super short chapter and I didn't intend it this way. Anyway, I just couldn't' wait to write the next crazy adventure: Akatsuki Calendar Shoot. Look for it real soon. I'll try to post chapter one tomorrow!


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